1. |
Autumn Skies
03:33
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Why can’t I let go
I just don’t know
waiting for her figure
through the frost on my window
I murmur, “Life is so much cooler
with her.” It’s freaky
to think of how maybe this winter
she won’t be there with me
I observe the birdies
I think “do ghosts see
other ghosts”?
meanwhile I’m listening to Mount Eerie
I’m pouring thee
People say I watch boring movies
How else do I fall a sleep
Without her under my fleece?
I am nothing, but life without you
is less than nothing at all
Let us dissolve into each other again
After the fall
I can’t get the image out of my head
of she lying naked
I really liked her smile
When she awakened
she’s reading poems,
by my stove
and blushes feverish,
I take my fingers out of her gloves
Autumn skies
and fireflies
I can see her in her room at night
eating rhubarb pie
It’s wintertime
Will the world melt around us?
I’m still wearing an autumn sweater
eating charlotte russe
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2. |
Blue Monochrome
04:38
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When we met, my bed
Didn’t get any air at night
When we met, my bed
Sips our sweat when we squeezed so tight
Young moon
In bloom
Hides the darkness of futures past, we discovered
Hidden poems
Painted portraits
Sad remains and blood stains on t shirts
Full moon
Wild waves
I remeber us looking at the sky
sunflower girl
planting seeds
Is there any hope that you’ll stay after july?
Red moon
Blood on the bed
It don’t matter who messed up after all
Stars crumble
I stumble
Still adding bricks to my mental wall
When you left, my bed
Turned into a stranger
When I think, in my bed
Of what did change her?
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3. |
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-Written by Mark Kozelek-
Where have all the people gone in my life
I'm looking at the ceiling
With an awful feeling of loss
And loneliness
The after late night television pain
I'm running out of strength
And it feels so wonderful
To swim in our fear
And it's unacceptable
The awakening of life
Oh, uncle Joe
Could you tell me what you know?
I've been having mental problems
And the solution is unclear
I'll give anything a try once
I'll try anything three times
I don't care
But there's no company
That I can stand to be with me
So my dependency on you grows
And I am not very well read
And did you say that I will lose my house
And can you spare me of my pain
And can you spare me of my tears
Oh, uncle Joe
It was unintentional
When I spit in your beer
I am over influenced
By movies
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4. |
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Things are crashing down
I locked the door upon myself
Looking for answers on my bookshelf
Four walls are
bending over me
My cold room where I’m hidden from reality
It’s scary here alone
and raining outside
Like the day you’d left and I started to hide
Haunted by my memory
I think of what I had
It should be illigal to be this sad
I don’t know what I want, I don’t find any traces
In Broken Mirrors you see so many faces.
I don’t know what I want to do in life
Till the last twist of the knife.
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5. |
Survival Kitten
03:35
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Survival Kitten,
Were the words I read on her ass, just before
she’d ran away and left me handcuffed on the bed.
I’ve got some time to think now.
I loved the way how kitty snuggled up against me
loving me for who I was and what I did.
God, I miss how she looked at me with her deep blue gray eyes.
I remeber us getting so drunk,
We started to believe that we hadn’t drank anything at all.
And I remeber a little time after that, she’d woken up next to me for the first time.
Kissing strawberries, we tore up raspberries,
blood on the lips, juice on our chin
after, we walked on four legs,
And on our first nightwalk,
we could’ve smoked a whole pack of cigarettes
and held each other forever.
Kitty and I camped out this summer.
quiet, we could only hear the sound of crickets
and of our fingers melting away in each other’s flesh.
This reminds me of a line from ‘Still Life With Woodpecker’ so recognisable
“My fingers ran like foxes through the forest fire of her hair”.
yes, she’s a mystic Pre-Raphaelite
not even Millais could paint her gracefulness.
Somewhere in the distant echoes her voice,
She’s tiptoeing through the streets.
her schadow is gone with the wind.
She’s so close but I don’t know where.
I sleep.
Snow on the moon, and just us two.
My dreams are more real than life.
Summer aches, a lonely autumn breaks.
A shadow casts over this wasteland, no color in the rainbows.
I’m left thinking. What does all these things mean?
does it has a purpose, does it have a meaning?
Or is it just that things that meant something,
over time, will be left meaning nothing?
And many times I long for kitty,
Looking to the velux skylight
And at times I ask Myself:
“what’s Kitty doing now,
is she still surviving?”
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